Tau Lepton, MBA
Will inevitably transition into a different role within 290 femtoseconds.
Tau Lepton, MBA, came to newtrawn INC from a brief but spectacular career at Goldman-Sigma, where he was the youngest analyst ever to spontaneously decay during an earnings call. He has held 47 distinct job titles in the past 12 months, all at newtrawn INC, all simultaneously.
As Director of Decay Operations, Tau oversees the orderly transition of teammates, products, and quarterly objectives into their natural decay products. His department's motto, 'Nothing Lasts; That's a Feature', has been adopted as the official newtrawn organizational philosophy.
Tau is married to a muon and an electron. The arrangement is, according to him, 'lepton-typical' and 'audited annually for charge conservation'.
"I'd love to chat longer, but in 290 femtoseconds I'll be a muon. Email me, it'll catch up."
— Tau Lepton, MBA